Carnal Cousins: Watford USA

Extract:

"I still don't know which of us made the first move, but suddenly we were against each other, running out hands over each other. I pushed his tee-shrt up to feel closer to him, and he pulled away from me for a moment to get my scruffy old night-shirt over my head and then there was this glorious feeling of body to body.

I didn't even notice when he took the rest of his clothes off, but very quickly we were locked together on Gerry's hygienically-clean floor and the rest was as nature intended. It started off with a lot of rolling about and bumping into chair legs and then some shouting and groaning. All this sort of thing had already happened in my mind's eye almost from the moment I'd set eyes on him, but the real thing was far ahead of anything my imagination could conjure up. Also more interestingly complicated. With the final result that it was as if we'd been made to suit each other in this amazing way... And the first time wasn't a fluke either, as we proved after we'd got our breath back and moved to my bedroom for further investigations.

Much later, after we'd both showered and dressed, he said, 'Come on, let's go to Starbucks for late brunch.' So when we got there I had to ask him what a non-coffee drinker would have, and he was all for me having a Stawberry Frappuccino. 'Just the thing for a hot girl on a hot day,' he assured me.

It looked OK.

I put the straw in my mouth and gave a strong suck. A piercing pain started in my front teeth, volcanoed up my nose and settled in my forehead. My eyes filled with tears.

Ralph was speaking. I lip-read him asking worriedly, 'Don't you like it?' while he mopped my eyes.

I couldn't say anything. All the front of my head was in the grip of agonising below zero numbness. My other thought was, Starbucks is not for me.

Ralph decided to lighten the mood by chatting. I could see his lips moving, but no sound reached me. I tried to let him know I'd gone deaf by signs, but they didn't work.

Finally, when my hearing started to come back and the agony in my face started to get less, I made out that he was talking about Gerry. I wasn't interested in Gerry or even Ralph himself at that stage.

In my police career I've had one or two bangs on the nose and that area, but I couldn't remember anything that matched up to that Frappuccino. Talk about death in a glass. An I never even got around to finding out what it tasted like, either. But gradually the pain started to ease up, and I tuned in to Ralph's attempts at conversation."